I feel often like I've lost momentum, but then something comes along to remind me why I started this journey.
This morning I woke up and lounged in bed for a few minutes till my bladder forced me to get up. While I was still ignoring it, for some reason I felt my upper arm. I've been embarrassed by my arms for a long time. There is bulging in gross ways, floppy softness in other gross ways. I've got the Relief Society arms (or "bingo arms" to the non-LDS readers) that old ladies get when they've lost weight and their arm fat flaps.
But when I felt my arm this morning, I noticed a difference. The back of my upper arm doesn't bulge quite the way it did before. I had to take a picture to mark the exciting occasion. I would put a "before" picture, but I don't really allow pictures of the most embarrassing parts of me to exist. It has only been since I started this plan that I've been willing for the fat to show up in all its glorious disgustingness.
When I went to see Dan, I had to admit that I was scared. I've been consistently failing on the weekends and I wasn't sure I wanted to see the scale go up again. Amazingly, it went down. Okay, so it was only a pound, but I'll take anything I can get.
Every single week I leave Dan's office energized and excited to start anew. I want to succeed, dang it! And by the end of the weekend I feel like a total failure. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the desire to socialize and play. Bike rides on city streets aren't really a social thing, especially in the winter when everyone is bundled. It's not like we can go to the park (brrr!) either. The weights bore me to death and every single week I struggle to do them.
I think I'll work on them right now. Get in one session of weights while watching LDS General Conference. After the weights, I'll get some more cleaning done. Then I'll feel both spiritually and physically productive. Maybe I won't feel quite so guilty next time I go to see Dan.